Duck Tape
by arashi wolf princess
Summary: Nearing his wits end, harry is rather please to see there is some duck tape. Sure he could use magic to shut the two up but sometimes the muggle way is the most fun especially once they learn how it comes off not that he will warn them that is.


**Arashi: This is a request for Queen Hobbit22 wanting Severus/Harry/Voldemort. As for myself, not sure of this threesome though I did enjoy this oneshot when writing it that kept me laughing at parts.**

 **Disclaimer: Harry Potter and characters belongs to J.K Rowling. No money is made off this work.**

Duck Tape

Summary: Nearing his wits end, harry is rather please to see there is some duck tape. Sure he could use magic to shut the two up but sometimes the muggle way is the most fun especially once they learn how it comes off not that he will warn them that is.

Warnings: Alive Sirius & Remus, Good Voldemort, Alive Dumbledore, Language, evil genius prankster Harry, slash, establish relationship, threesome

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Within the house outside of Hogsmead, lives three happily married men….or rather in this case two annoying assholes and one very annoyed wizard about to shut the two up! Weird begin right? Well my name is Harry James Potter-Black Snape Riddle and yes I'm married to one Severus Snape and formerly Lord Voldemort aka Tom Riddle Jr. The latter I call only inside our home or when he's in trouble with me. Well this is my life with the two starting now….

"Shut the fuck up, Severus!"

"Really Voldemort I know you're in charge but I'm tired of dealing with annoying students and one DUMBLEDORE!"

So much for reading the book that Bill lent me. How to shut these two up this time? I tried having sex but I end up being frustrated for several hours later since they couldn't decide who will be on the top and the bottom while I'm in the middle of a sandwich.

"I have to deal with the Death Eaters!"

"STUDENTS TOM! And a pink wearing thing as ALBUS!"

I glance over rolling my eyes fighting the urge to smirk figuring who done it. Poor Sev….than again I would have to pay the two boys later. That's a different matter altogether really. I spot the duck tape that been left behind from one of the random projects done around the house.

That could work. Why waste magic to shut these two fucking idiots up?! Maybe Severus would know the pain of duck tape since he did live in the muggle world and something of what I found in mom's journal she used one time.

An evil smile spread across my lips as a soft chuckle pass. Excellent! I'm not just the son of the marauders but also Son of Lily Evans, prankster extraordinaire! Eh, wonder if dad known that about her? According to her journal only ones seem to know or suspect it been Sirius and Remus. Maybe I will ask them later if that's the case.

Since I think in the end when I'm done I would need a place to crash for a few nights. Glancing at my husbands I feel a sweat drop form as the glare they are giving seems to intensify. Make it a week then.

I accio for the duck tape silently please with my wandless magic abilities are stronger. As quietly as I could I rip off two decent lengths of tape as a smirk on my lips grows eviler. Oh Fred and George will be happy when I tell them of this little prank of mine. I may love my husbands but there are times I need peace!

I move behind them with rather ease since they are still glaring and snipping at one another. Normally they would sense me nearby. Eh this is so worth it. I jump up slapping both tapes on their mouths and their eyes widen in shock.

They turn to look at him with the same raise brow look which I ignore over the years. I snap at the two of them, "I'm going to spend time with my godfathers and brothers! When I come back it's the couch and no sex for a month for either of you!"

I run out the door with a skip in my step counting to ten as the sounds of two high pitch screams that would make Mrs. Weasly rather proud howl from inside.

 **"HARRY JAMES POTTER-BLACK SNAPE RIDDLE!**

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 **Arashi: The fear of the middle name….*Shivers* Ugh I hate it when I hear it… Well I had a good laugh at this. This Harry I fiddle with a couple other works with a prankster. I figure Lily must be more than a person to study and able to have fun so a bit of an thing to have something more to her and have it passed down on to Harry. Reviews are appreciated.**


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